confused???

erm...sometimes i feel that i have no confident with myself, i'm confused with my decisions...uhh, i don't know why this came across my mind right now..why it should happen right now? if i could turn back the time i really want to do it, i want to go back to the past...i want to get back all my decisions that i have made...i don't know whether i'm doing the right things right now, i'm confused with my life...i don't know which ways i should go, it's seem that all the doors are closed and there's no even a way for me to get out of this matter...sometimes i feel this world is really unfair, i don't know why it's only me carry all these while some others are happy and laughing with their lives right now? why it should be like this? i'm just a human like others, there's a time i can carry it but there's a time i can't...why it's always me to make other people laugh, to make them happy but what about myself? am i really happy? all i have to do is just pretending in front of them that i'm also happy with what i'm doing now...i can smile and laugh but deep down in my heart no one knows...how long i can stand with all these? i don't know...i really want to make my decision right now but i have no strength to do it, i'm afraid that i will let others people down, i don't want to hurt anyone because i know how it is feel to be hurt...i feel horrible now...i really don't want to think about it but i have to, it's my future but what can i do about it? but sometimes i feel that maybe i just have to go on with my decision...