Should or Shouldn't

again...stuck in the middle of decisions...it's either should i keep on waiting or not? confusing...when can i get the answer? when can this puzzle is done? wondering about it...maybe i should just wait and give more times on it but until when...just want to make it clear so that there will be no more this difficult puzzle. It's getting harder when there is not even a hint to settle this puzzle...

I'm Blessed

want to share this with u all...this msg was from my friend Josephine...really thanks her for being on time...i'm feel better after read this =)

"Seorang penumpang terselamat dari kecelakaan kapal dan dihanyutkan ke satu pulau kecil yang tidak berpenghuni. Dia berdoa dan tidak berputus asa mencari penyelamat tetapi masih tiada yang datang menyelamatkannya. Dengan susah payah dia mendirikan sebuah pondok kecil di tempat dia berteduh. Suatu hari apabila dia kembali daripada mencari makanan, dia mendapati pondoknya terbakar. Semua yang dimilikinya habis terbakar. Dia tenggelam di dalam kesedihan dan hatinya memberontak. 'Tuhan, mengapa Kau melakukan ini terhadap aku!' tangisnya. Tetapi keesokan harinta, dia terbangun oleh bunyi kapal yang semakin hampir. Dia bertanya kepada penolongnya bagaimana mereka menjumpai dia. Jawab mereka ' kami melihat asapmu'....Sangat mudah untuk menjadi kecewa ketika masalah menjadi tidak baik. Tetapi seharusnya kita tidak berkecil hati kerana Tuhan sedang bekerja dalam hidup kita meskipun di tengah kesusahan dan penderitaan. Ingatlah di kemudian hari apabila rumah kecil mu habis terbakar, itu mungkin saja hanya tanda yang akan memulai kasih karunia Tuhan dalam hidup mu"...

There's a time for everything...there's also a reason for every what had happened in life, most of the time we blame ourselves on our failures in life...regretful comes in life but times cannot turn back to the past, we always saying that if we were given a chance to back to the past we will not to do all the mistakes and failures...but for sure it won't happen...as i walk in this journey with full of difficulties, as my journey full of tears but i learned something...something precious in my life...all those mistakes and failures teach me to be more mature and teach me to be confident to face it if it will happen again (surely difficulties and temptations won't never stop)...more mature and more confident because i know one thing...i know and sure within this difficulties i'm not alone...my closest friend and my precious friend walk with me, He's the only, He's to only reason i can stand still until now...He's my Father...

Another Chapter...New Journey

Melisa, Me, Kety
Siti, Shima, Me, Melisa
Us (Dinner with JKM)

Us Again

1st September was my first day of working at PPKS, Kuching...kind of nervous (baru masuk keja bah, hehe)...it's a private college and so of course everyday i meet with a lot of students...whenever i go to classes i will remember my past time as a student...what a great time being a student...they are very friendly, cheeky and naughty..well, that's student and i know very much because i've being a student before...hehehe...when they meet me they will say "Hye Miss", "tak balik lagi ke Miss"...hikhik...

okay, that's about the students..now i want to share about my collix...ermm..don't have lot comment as i only knw them within 2 months but i'm very close with some of my collix...Melisa, Kety, Siti, Shima and Loheves...but only left 4 of us coz Loheves and Shima got other job...miss both of them...we out lunch together...

quite a good start for me but honestly i'm still looking for other job...i need to pray hard for this...i know He hold the future...i'll hand this to my Father...

I'm Back...updating my blog...

Pictures on my graduation day...13 August 2009

My Family

Friend forever
GBU

Finally...

mmm....alloo everyone...ermm...quite a long time didn't updated my blog...didn't have much time to write on this wall...surely there's a lot of things and stories happened as the times go on in this life...where should i start first? ermm...perhaps i should start with my graduation day with u all...my great n big day...after 3 years in USM, finally i'm graduated on 13 August 2009 at Dewan Tuanku Syed Putra, Universiti Sains Malaysia....yeyyy....thanks God for that...God is good all the time...not by my strength but by His strength..He's the reason that i can graduated after 3 years...3 years being a student was not an easy journey...being a student was not just a matter of study...sweets and sours...pain and tears...temptation and difficult time...uhh...can't describe it...all i can say is God is with me..He walk with me and hold my hands...He never leave me...He was there to wipe my tears..thanks God...mungkin pada mulanya, saya merasakan ketidakadilan berlaku dlm hidup saya..kadang2 terlintas mengapa harus saya yg menanggung ini sendirian, mengapa hanya saya yg harus mengalirkan airmata...tetapi semakin saya melangkah dlm hidup ini barulah saya sedar bahawa semua ini ada jawapan di sebaliknya...sy masih lagi ingat akan kata2 ssorg yg mengatakan "saya tidak mahu ingat apa yg pahit spt hempedu dlm hidup saya tetapi saya hanya mahu ingat apa yg manis dan madu sahaja dlm hidup saya"...begitu manis dan indah kata2 ini..kata2 inilah yg makin membangunkan saya...jgnlah ingt hal2 yg pahit tetapi ingatlah hal2 yg manis...

Dlm menempuhi smua pencobaan, syukur buat teman2 yg setia berada di sisi bg membangkitkan lagi saya...to CHILLIES...Josephine, Dijah, Serin, Robayah, Aren, Julie, Shomie, Joana, Kak Ros, Kak Miska, Eunice, Bulan, Adriana, Ps Alan and all FGA's member...thanks to u all...GBU all...wanna share these words with u all "bersyukurlah kamu kerana dipilih utk mengalami pencobaan dan kesusahan dlm kehidupan mu kerana hal itu mengajar kamu utk lebih kuat menghadapi pencobaan yg lebih besar dlm kehidupanmu agar kamu tidak akan kalah menghadapi smua itu, ingatlah bahawa setiap pencobaan yg berlaku itu tidak akan pernah melebihi kekuatan mu"..

Also thanks to my family, dad & mum...my two siblings...

Ku Percaya Janji Mu

it's 3.30 am and i still cannot sleep, i've tried to close my eyes but i can't...i don't know what's going on...but suddenly i remember a song by Maria Shandi...it's really a lovely song and the words in that song really touch me...

saat ku hancur hati

ku datang pada Mu

Kau bri kekuatan dan bri penghiburan

saat tak seorang pun dapat ku andalkan

Kau yang memberi jalan

Kau yang menuntunku

saat ku tak mengerti dalam hidup ini

namun firman Mu yang slalu menerangiku

Engkau yang buat ku kuat

lewati smua

Engkau pertolongan ku

tempat harapanku

Tuhan...

ku percaya janji Mu dalam hidupku

Tuhan...

Kau bri kemenangan

Tuhan...

Kau slalu setia di dalam hidupku

Kau berharga

Kaulah jaminanku dalam hidupku..

God bless :)

my sweet hometown!!!

view from my longhouse

mum and auntie

just arrived from my hometown last 2 days...really miss my hometown especially my grandma and my family there...spent my time a week there, really enjoy myself...it's quite tired to get there, long journey...from kuching to sibu about 5 hours by bus and then from sibu to kapit about 3 hours by express...uhh...

mother's day..

mum, auntie and their friends

happy mother's day..

just a simple celebration for mummy...celebrated it with mum, auntie n also their friends...love u so much mum...

my interview...

thanks God for He always leads all my way..His strength and wisdom make it possible for me during my interview..nervousness always come first,huhu...this was my first interview, i can't sleep all over the night...my dad sent me to maktab perguruan batu lintang as early 6.15 am because my interview started at 8.00 am..traffic jam during all the way, i'm tried to get away and avoid my nervousness but i can't...i have 3 sessions during that interview, first we had to write an essay which is only 30 minutes, then we went for group discussion and 6 of us in that group discussion..during group discussion my nervousness slowly getting low and that 30 minutes group discussion was a chance for me to forget all my nervousness...after 30 minutes of group discussion, then it was a time for individual interview...uhh, i'm the second candidate...the minute i entered the room i saw the two interviewers were smiling at me at that made me feel better...the two of them asked quite a lot of questions, they asked me about issue of education and thanks God because i can answer their questions..it was about 15 mins...at the end of the interview, two of them gave me some advices and wish me gud luck and all the best..thanks God because during the interview He always with me and gave me ideas in answering all the question...i hope and hand all this to God... :=)
for my friends out there, all the best for ur coming KPLI's interview especially for Dijah ;)

i'm home!!!!

i'm home rite now...errmm,it's good to be home..but sometimes quite boring coz got nothing to do,juz eat n sleep..haha..i'm kind of blur rite now, dunno wat should i do..all i know is i want to rest myself in these 2 weeks before i go on looking for my job but in the meanwhile i'll try to get my job as soon as possible..but this week i'll busy prepare myself for KPLI interview next week, so nervous because i never attend any interview before..moreover the interview quite tough..thanks God i've passed mtest..
really miss my friends, yesterday me and some of my friends went out and we 'makan2'..really enjoyed our time..erm, my friend dijah..take care of urself k,really miss u ol..c u when u back for ur interview also..

1 more to go!!yesh2...

uh, done with one paper but still have another paper to go...now can tarik nafas a bit, but quite dissapointed with paper just now..why? maybe i'm too focus on this paper and i'm not doing my well just now..uhh, read a lot but when it's come to write down and convey my idea i got stuck..i'm runnin out of idea, 6 questions and have to answer only 4 questions..all 4 questions in essay form, this paper is all about the second language acquisition..juz goreng-goreng lah my idea...quite worry but it's passed, cannot turn back the time...4 questions and i can only answer quite well in 2 questions but last 2 questions quite terrible...especially last question because i only wrote about only 1 page,arghhhh!!!! i dun have enough time... :(
ermm..whatever lah, all i have to do now is carry on with my next paper, this coming paper too technical...uhh, wat a tired being a student...

Mi FaMiLia

Dad & Mum
Three of Us (including me yea ;p)

Really miss my family, i can't wait to go home and spend my time with my family..not really a big family, only 5 of us..my siblings are all girls..ehehe..really close to each other, happy family..always share our problems n also love to laugh especially my mum..she's kind of funny n happy go lucky but watch out yea if she's not satisfied with sumthing she will burst it out no matter what will happen...my dad kind of 'pendiam' but he's really strict, if he thinks that something is not right in his eyes then he will saying it not only for a person in family but the whole family (means 4 of us)haha...really loves my mum n dad, they inspire me a lot..all i want to do is to make their happy and wanna see their smile...thanks a lot to mum n dad...my two sisters also inspire me a lot, my youngest sis is bigger than two of us..haha..that's why sometimes people thought that she's the eldest...she's very 'rajin' helping my mum but she got 'udang di sebalik batu', why? because if she help my mum then she will ask some 'gaji'..haha..whatever lah as long as she happy and also we don't mind about that..my eldest sis also quite funny, she's kind of 'kelam-kabut'...we can memorise her dialogue when she's home after her working time..'don't disturb me, i'm very tired and i want to have a rest', this is her dialogue...haha...really miss all those time we had spent together, a lot of temptation and hardship but thanks God we can handle it as we walk together as one family...God bless our family...

confused???

erm...sometimes i feel that i have no confident with myself, i'm confused with my decisions...uhh, i don't know why this came across my mind right now..why it should happen right now? if i could turn back the time i really want to do it, i want to go back to the past...i want to get back all my decisions that i have made...i don't know whether i'm doing the right things right now, i'm confused with my life...i don't know which ways i should go, it's seem that all the doors are closed and there's no even a way for me to get out of this matter...sometimes i feel this world is really unfair, i don't know why it's only me carry all these while some others are happy and laughing with their lives right now? why it should be like this? i'm just a human like others, there's a time i can carry it but there's a time i can't...why it's always me to make other people laugh, to make them happy but what about myself? am i really happy? all i have to do is just pretending in front of them that i'm also happy with what i'm doing now...i can smile and laugh but deep down in my heart no one knows...how long i can stand with all these? i don't know...i really want to make my decision right now but i have no strength to do it, i'm afraid that i will let others people down, i don't want to hurt anyone because i know how it is feel to be hurt...i feel horrible now...i really don't want to think about it but i have to, it's my future but what can i do about it? but sometimes i feel that maybe i just have to go on with my decision...

i'm tired!!!!

i'm tired waiting for my 1st paper,i have to wait another 3 days to sit for my 1st paper...i'm so tired!!!! after my 1st paper on 24th then i hv to wait another 5 more days to sit for my 2nd paper which will be on 29th...waaa...i can't keep my 'ilmu' lama2...furthermore i'm quite worry about my second paper because it's really tough n too technical for me..i keep on reading and try my very best to understand all the notes but i can't :(...oh Lord,help me now...i feel like giving up for my second paper but i can't really do it because it's my major paper and it will effect a lot my final result....what i shud do now?errmmm,worst become worst...i have no other options, i have to do my best on my second paper....this is my last chance...i hope and hand it all to my Father because i know that His hand always hold me...my future belongs to Him...

My classmate...my bestfriend

me n my classmate, we are really close to each other...a lot of gila2 things we done during our class but it's really fun,i still remember one day we made 'tahi cicak' palsu from eraser and all of the classmates really thought that was original tahi cicak...hikhik,it's really fun..miss all the times that we had shared together during our school..we always share our problems n she always come out with 'gila-gila' ideas but idea yg bernas...ehehe...but she's married...haha...

can't believe it...

erm...can't believe it...yesterday was my last class...6 semester n it's quite a long journey for me, a lot of things happened to me during this journey..sweet n sour memories..sometimes i feel i cannot carry all the burdens, sometimes i feel i just want to give up, sometimes i blame myself..but as the time goes on, all the burdens were cut off..i learn how to use all the burdens as a bridge to cross over in my life. It's really teach me to grow up, it's teach me not to give up when circumstances are there..thanks God because i know during this journey He's there for me, He never leave me alone to walk in this journey..He's there for me to show me the way....i know if not because of Him i won't be able to stand firm..His strength make me stand still...

Thanks to all my friends...all my seniors..my friend, josephine, dijah, serin, robayah, lenny, cath..thanks to u all for the sweet n sour memories that we have..God bless all of you =)

'No Pain No Gain'...now i know why people saying that, accept the pain and future will be fruitful..don't feel the work you are doing is pain because there will be always a reason for that pain..so face the pain, for the pain you face, there will be definitely happiness ahead...

I'm Luving It...

Me, Ara, Nina & Ady

ermm... =)

Orang Ulu's Dance

Ngajat Iban Dance

All these pictures remind me of my performances. I luv dancing...i luv dancing and i luv wearing all the traditional costumes...It's really beautiful..I have to admit that before the performances it's really tiring with all the practices but I enjoyed it..

Queensbay...Queensbay...

Djah, Joe, My Sister & Me

Angels...

With My Big Friend ;p

Erm..one day before we going back for our semester break on November. My sister and her friend had a seminar in Penang. They came here just one day before we going back. Fortunately we are still here at that time although we just spent only one night with them. After pick them up from airport, we went to Queensbay. Both of them quite tired so they had no mood to shop although i know that both of them are 'kaki shopping'..haha..We spent about 2 hours in Queensbay. Then, we brought them to our favourite place, Pelita..we introduce them to 'mamak food'..

How Beautiful....

JESUS says..."I CARE"

When you think you're alone

In the middle of the night

When you've just had an awful dream

And you're shivering with fright

You lie there alone and scared

And wonder if anyone cares

If you look into your heart

You'll always find Me there

Sometimes life is just too hard

And you need to get away

You need someone to talk to

Who will listen to what you say

Someone who will let you know

That they'll always be there

When you can't find anyone

Just remember that I care

When there is nowhere else to go

You can always come to Me

I promise that I'll be there

In your greatest hour of need

I'm sure you can find Me

If you take the time for prayer

When the whole world seems against you

Just remember that I care

PATHWAY OF PAIN

If my days were untroubled and my heart always light, would I seek that fair land where there is no night?

If I never grew weary with the weight of my load, would I search for God's peace at the end of the road?

If I never knew sickness and never felt pain, would I search for a hand to help and sustain?

If I walked without sorrow and lived without loss, would my soul seek solace at the foot of the cross?

If all I desired was mine day by day, would I kneel before God and earnestly pray?

If God sent no winter to freeze me with fear, would I yearn for the warmth of Spring every year?

I ask myself these and the answer is plain, if my life were pleasure and I never knew pain I'd seek God less often and need Him much less, for God is sought more often in times of distress. And no one knows God or sees Him as plain as those who have met Him on the "Pathway of Pain."

Chillies

It's almost a year but all the sweet memories still remain. I really miss all the moments that we had shared together throughout 2 years. Zillionnssss thanks to all my seniors, Aren, Shommie, Julie, Eunice, Bulan, Adriana. We are the children of lights...what is life without spice??GBU all!!!

Valentine's Day

Our cake for Valentine's Day 2009. My Valentine's is not like others valentine in which they celebrate it with their love but my valentine I celebrated it with my friends. For me, valentine's day is actually not only for love couples but also it's the time for us to share and show our loves maybe with our families, friends and of course with our love one..hehe..So, we chose a theme for that special day. We chose our favourite theme which we took from Bible. Since valentine is for love celebration, we had chose from 1 Corinthian 13: 4. "Love Never Fails"...that was our theme. Love is never fail but we ourselves always make it fail. We blame love if it fails but we might never know why it is fail. Actually love is something beautiful, with love we can do anything. Love make us happy, it's make us smiling but it's also can be so painful if it is fail. Love will never fails if it is come from our true heart and we sincere with our love. Don't fail our own love..